The Waiting Game: What an End to DOMA Could Mean for this Mainer

It's Tuesday, but I'm still coming down from a very full weekend!

My partner Trish and I were busy attending the annual Equality Maine dinner, visiting with friends, sharing a birthday dinner with my brother in Boston and taking in a hockey game.

Somehow, we managed to find time to start planning our wedding. We spent almost a whole day looking at venues, thinking about a guest list, talking to a photographer and wondering whether or not the Supreme Court of the United States would overturn Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. 

Not your typical wedding planning conversation, I'm sure.  But this morning, I was reminded of this law that would prevent our Maine marriage from being recognized federally as I dropped Trish off at the airport so she could return home to Toronto, Ontario. A Canadian citizen by birth, Trish would like to immigrate to the United States to live, work and start a family with me, her American partner.

Because of the Defense of Marriage Act, I cannot sponsor Trish for spousal immigration, even though we could legally marry here in Maine. Actually, if we were to marry here or in Canada, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2004, we might be prevented from traveling back and forth to see one another. Though we want to set a date and take our vows, we wait instead, not wanting to eliminate the few long weekends we currently get to spend together as a "normal" couple - grocery shopping, doing laundry and watching the morning news. 

That wait is almost over, however, as the Supreme Court will hear Windsor v The United States tomorrow. The case, brought forward by the ACLU, could determine that Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. Trish and I are hopeful for ourselves, for Edie Windsor, for the 30,000 same-sex bi-national couples in our situation and the hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples who simply want federal recognition of their state based legal marriages. 

It might be until June before the highest court in our land makes a final ruling, but anyone in the wedding industry knows that June is only the start of Maine's biggest season for weddings. I hope to marry Trish sooner, rather than later, so we can begin our lives together without a two hour flight or an outdated law separating us. 

Check back in with us for updates along the way - we're so proud of our national LGBT rights project and all of their good work. This article is a great read for some history of how we got to where we are today, and for how we hope to continue to move forward after tomorrow.